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'elf Expressions Ezine

Get Hold of Your Elf!

"Get hold of your 'elf!"


Your weekly collection of positive tips, hints, and advice offered with humor, inspiration, and other goodies for anyone who is inclined to read. Guidance, mentoring, inspiration, English lessons, editing, proofreading services for entrepreneurs and online marketers.

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Publisher: Mary Wilkey
Volume 9 — Issue 28 — August 25, 2009
Published every Tuesday


Readers, before I forget, the next issue of 'elf Expressions Ezine will be on September 1, for the reason that I plan to be out of town again on the 8th ... so look for your 'elf again next Tuesday ...

It has been awhile since I've invited subscribers to submit a short autobiography to share with our readers, and I'd like to do that now. Just jot down a few sentences about you, who you are, where you live, what you do, your background, family, etc. ... and yes, you can include your email and/or link ... just don't make it sound like an ad! And you won't be competing with anyone, just sharing, as all submissions will be published. Send your submissions to me at elfbutter@sbcglobal.net.


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In Remembrance of
September 11, 2001

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Smile!

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If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

—2 Chronicles 7:14



Contents:

Politically Incorrect
A Healthier You
Feature Article
Test Your Bible Knowledge
Today's Chuckle
Today's English Lesson
Guest Article
Inspiration
Etcetera


Politically Incorrect


Ed McMahon died recently. He was a great entertainer, but prior to his stage accomplishments he was a distinguished Marine Corps fighter pilot in WWII, earning six Air Medals and attaining the rank of Colonel. He was discharged in 1946 and was later promoted to the rank of Brigadier General in the CA Air National Guard.

Farrah Fawcett died recently after a long career in Hollywood as an actress. After she was diagnosed with cancer, she became an activist for cancer treatment and devoted her last remaining years to urging people to seek treatment. She documented her plight on film and used it to encourage others to stay positive and upbeat despite their diagnosis and suffering.

Michael Jackson died recently. He made himself wealthy as a singer, dancer, and entertainer. He was born black, but he cut and stained his face and body to the point of turning himself into a caricature, with his ridiculous and failed attempt to deny his blackness and look white.

He will be remembered for his strange and eccentric lifestyle that included sleeping with a chimpanzee, living in a carnival-like atmosphere in the "Neverland" of his imagination, and his numerous outlandish costumes.

He admitted to sleeping with young boys and paid out millions of dollars in settlements to the families of these boys, despite being acquitted by a criminal court on child molestation charges. Finally, his drug abuse did him in at the young age of 50, having spent twice as much as the $500mil. that he made during his life.

Question 1 — For which of the above did the House of Representatives declare a moment of silence? (Hint — It wasn't the first two.)

Question 2 — Which of the above's family received a personal note of condolence from President Obama? (Hint — It wasn't the first two.)

Can our "leaders" understand the low degree of respect that they deserve, or do they really represent the majority of our people? I don't know which. Has our entire country lost its way in the world? Do we have any dignity and common sense left as a nation?

The above was sent in an email, and the author is unknown to this publisher.




Be ye fishers of men. You
catch 'em—He'll clean 'em.



A Healthier You


To Improve Sleep:

1 — Sprinkle just-washed sheets and pillowcases with lavender water. The scent of lavender has been shown in studies to promote relaxation, which can lead to better sleep.

2 — Buy a new pillow. Studies show that pillows with an indentation in the center can enhance sleep quality and reduce neck pain. Also, try a "cool" pillow—one containing either wholly natural fibers or a combination of sodium sulfate and ceramic fibers that help keep your head cool.

3 — Eat a handful of walnuts before bed. You'll be giving yourself a boost of fiber and essential fatty acids, along with the amino acid tryptophan—a natural sleep inducer.





I don't know why some people
change churches. What difference
does it make which one you stay home from?



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Feature Article


Squelching Your Senses to Succeed Spiritually

It takes a measure of faith to pray ... I mean, you wouldn't be praying to the Lord if you didn't actually believe that He is there, that He hears, and that He is able to provide you the answer you seek, would you?

So now we need to build on that measure of faith by reading and studying the Word. The reason for building up and strengthening our faith is so that we can hang onto it, because if we don't hang onto it, it will weaken and disappear.

Most everyone realizes that hanging onto our faith is the hard part, but at the same time, this is what makes faith faith. If what we pray for always happened instantaneously, little faith would be required, just the small, weak measure of faith that we all start out with. (Without faith, it is impossible to please God. Hebrews 11:6)

Real, substantial, mountain moving faith comes by hearing the Word of God (the text of the Bible) repeatedly and regularly. Our hearing can be internally accessed by silent reading of the Word, or it can be heard externally, whether we read the Word aloud ourselves or listen to it being read by another.

It simply is not enough just to hear testimonies of others having applied faith successfully. No! Hearing the Word of the Lord is the only way anyone anywhere can strengthen his own faith.

It also is simply not enough just to hear the Word and then try to hang on to our faith by sheer determination without squelching our physical feelings.

At the start, we need to realize that, immediately as we pray, the thing prayed for is created (or happens) instantaneously in the spiritual dimension, even though we feel no differently, we do not see it, we do not hear it, we do not smell it, and we do not taste it. That is because our senses are limited by the physical dimension.

But feelings are alien to faith. We never feel faith. We simply come to believe-know-realize that the object of our prayer has already taken place on another dimension, and we then start praising and thanking the Lord for already having brought it about. And we continue to do this until we do see the physical manifestation.

Trying to operate in faith and measure the results of prayer with our physical senses is like trying to solve a mathematical problem using intuition. We have to apply the right tools to any given problem. The wrong tool, even applied in the right way, will yield nothing; nor will the right tool applied in the wrong way.

The point where the spiritual touches the physical feelings is when you sense the Presence of the Lord, the point at which tears (living water) flow, and the Glory comes down.

=========================================================

You may reprint the above article with this info intact:
Article penned by Mary Wilkey, publisher of 'elf Expressions Ezine:
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Test Your Bible Knowledge

Fill in the blanks: "Faithful are the _______ of a friend; but the _________ of an enemy are deceitful."

1 — praises, praises
2 — charges, charges
3 — eyes, words
4 — wounds, kisses

Scroll down for the answer.





Some minds are like concrete—
thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.



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God Himself doesn't propose to judge a man
until he is dead. So why should you?



Today's Chuckle


Fast Thinker

An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years.

He had a large pond in the back that was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while.

He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence, and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or to make you get out of the pond naked."

Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm just here to feed the alligator ..."

Some old men can still think fast.





We're called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.



Today's English Lesson


Seeing the same elementary mistakes over and over again has prompted this publisher to write an English lesson each issue. Look for some of these lessons to be repeated, because the mistakes are!

Just when you think you've seen it all ...

Someone was talkng about the "mother load" ... yep, you're right ... he meant "mother lode."

Things like this are all the more puzzling, when so much help is at our fingertips these days. How much time would it have taken this "writer" to check this out on dictionary.com?

And if you're unfamiliar with that, please visit the site and see firsthand just how quick, easy, and accurate it is. There is just no excuse for these kinds of errors!

=========================================================

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If a church wants a better pastor,
it only needs to pray for the one it has.



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Guest Article



American Capitalism Gone With a Whimper
From PRAVDA, Russian News Agency

I wonder why the mainstream (state run) media hasn't reported this?

Take note that the date this was published in Russia was April 27, 2009!

According to Snopes, this did come from Pravda. The link: http://tinyurl.com/reyt2j

The irony of this article appearing in the English edition of Pravda (Russian State Newspaper) defies description.

It must be said, that like the breaking of a great dam, the American descent into Marxism is happening with breathtaking speed against the backdrop of a passive, hapless sheeple; excuse me, dear reader, I meant people.

True, the situation has been well prepared on and off for the past century, especially the past twenty years. The initial testing grounds was conducted upon our Holy Russia, and a bloody test it was. But we Russians would not just roll over and give up our freedoms and our souls, no matter how much money Wall Street poured into the fists of the Marxists.

Those lessons were taken and used to properly prepare the American populace for the surrender of their freedoms and souls, to the whims of their elites and betters.

First, the population was dumbed down through a politicized and substandard education system based on pop culture, rather than the classics. Americans know more about their favorite TV dramas than the drama in D.C. that directly affects their lives. They care more for their "right" to choke down a McDonald's burger or a Burger King burger than for their constitutional rights. Then they turn around and lecture us about our rights and about our "democracy." Pride blinds the foolish.

Then their faith in God was destroyed until their churches, all tens of thousands of different "branches and denominations," were for the most part little more then Sunday circuses and their televangelists and top Protestant mega preachers were more than happy to sell out their souls and flocks to be on the "winning" side of one pseudo Marxist politician or another. Their flocks may complain, but when explained that they would be on the "winning" side, their flocks were ever so quick to reject Christ in hopes for earthly power. Even our Holy Orthodox churches are scandalously liberalized in America.

The final collapse has come with the election of Barack Obama. His speed in the past three months has been truly impressive. His spending and money printing has been a record setting, not just in America's short history but in the world. If this keeps up for more than another year, and there is no sign that it will not, America, at best, will resemble the Wiemar Republic and, at worst, Zimbabwe.

These past two weeks have been the most breathtaking of all. First came the announcement of a planned redesign of the American Byzantine tax system, by the very thieves who used it to bankroll their thefts, losses, and swindles of hundreds of billions of dollars. These make our Russian oligarchs look little more than ordinary street thugs in comparison. Yes, the Americans have beat our own thieves in the shear volumes. Should we congratulate them?

These men, of course, are not an elected panel but made up of appointees picked from the very financial oligarchs and their henchmen, who are now gorging themselves on trillions of American dollars, in one bail-out after another. They are also usurping the rights, duties, and powers of the American Congress (parliament). Again, Congress has put up little more than a whimper to their masters.

Then came Barack Obama's command that GM's (General Motor) president step down from leadership of his company. That is correct, dear reader, in the land of "pure" free markets, the American president now has the power, the self given power, to fire CEOs, and we can assume other employees of private companies, at will. Come hither, go dither, the centurion commands his minions.

So it should be no surprise that the American president has followed this up with a "bold" move of declaring that he and another group of unelected, chosen stooges will now redesign the entire automotive industry and will even be the guarantee of automobile policies. I am sure that if given the chance, they would happily try and redesign it for the whole of the world, too.

Prime Minister Putin, less than two months ago, warned Obama and UK's Blair not to follow the path to Marxism; it only leads to disaster. Apparently, even though we suffered 70 years of this Western sponsored horror show, we know nothing, as foolish, drunken Russians, so let our "wise" Anglo-Saxon fools find out the folly of their own pride.

Again, the American public has taken this with barely a whimper ... but a "freeman" whimper.

So, should it be any surprise to discover that the Democratically controlled Congress of America is working on passing a new regulation that would give the American Treasury department the power to set "fair" maximum salaries, evaluate performance, and control how private companies give out pay raises and bonuses?

Senator Barney Franks, a social pervert basking in his homosexuality (of course, amongst the modern, enlightened American societal norm, as well as that of the general West, homosexuality is not only not a looked down upon life choice, but is often praised as a virtue) and his Marxist enlightenment has led this effort. He stresses that this affects only companies that receive government monies, but it is retroactive and taken to a logical extreme, this would include any company or industry that has ever received a tax break or incentive.

The Russian owners of American companies and industries should look thoughtfully at this and the option of closing their facilities down and fleeing the land of the Red as fast as possible. In other words, divest while there is still value left.

The proud American will go down into his slavery without a fight, beating his chest and proclaiming to the world how free he really is. The world will only snicker.

Stanislav Mishin© 1999-2009. «PRAVDA.Ru». When reproducing our materials in whole or in part, hyperlink to PRAVDA.Ru should be made. The opinions and views of the authors do not always coincide with the point of view of PRAVDA.Ru's editors.

Source: Pravda.Ru

http://tinyurl.com/pozpwk

If you can stand anymore, read this: http://tinyurl.com/lq2jql

===========================================================





The only reward of virtue is virtue;
the only way to have a friend is to be one.

—Ralph Waldo Emerson



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Answer to Bible trivia:

4 — wounds, kisses
See Proverbs 27:6



Inspiration


Some Great Ways to Deal
With the Burdens of Life

These were sent in by Bill Jones, a long-time reader.

— Just accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

— Always keep your words soft and sweet—just in case you have to eat them.

— Always wear stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

— Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be "recalled" by their maker.

— If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

— If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

— It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to be kind to others.

— Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

— Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

— Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

— The second mouse gets the cheese.

— When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

— Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

— You may be only one person in the world, But you may also be the world to one person.

— Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

— We could learn a lot from crayons ... Some are sharp, some are pretty, and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

—A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.




Etcetera

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