Home | Latest Issue | Archives | Email |

'elf Expressions Ezine

Get Hold of Your Elf!

"Get hold of your 'elf!"


Your weekly collection of positive tips, hints, and advice offered with humor, inspiration, and other goodies for anyone who is inclined to read. Guidance, mentoring, inspiration, English lessons, editing, proofreading services for entrepreneurs and online marketers.

To subscribe, send blank email to:
sub@elfexpressionsezine.com?subject=subscribe


Publisher: Mary Wilkey
Volume 8 — Issue 45 — December 9, 2008
Published every Tuesday


Well, we're getting close to ho-hoing time again . . . and I thought I'd share the following with you. The characters are yours truly (a truly terrible picture!), my twin sons (Cory is hard to see, because his hand is partly blocking his face), and Chris and their wives, Kathy (the smiling one) and Angie.

To view the video, double-click on each red and white striped bar and turn up your speakers. Be patient . . . it may take awhile to load, but it is hilarious! (This isn't called 'elf Expressions for nothing!) This is the link: http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/QgCRohDiuwLvIS01PJxf

Hope you enjoy this entire issue.


--------------------------


In Remembrance of
September 11, 2001

------------------------------------

Smile!

If you enjoy this ezine, you can help it grow faster by introducing 'elf Expressions to just one other person—because the faster we grow, the more we all benefit from the promo copy. Thank you!

If you've missed any issues, you still can see them at:

http://elfexpressionsezine.com


Signature


 

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

—2 Chronicles 7:14



Contents:

Top Sponsor
Weekly Contest
Subscriber in the Spotlight
A Healthier You
Feature Article
Test Your Bible Knowledge
Today's Chuckle
Today's English Lesson
Internet Tips & Hints
Guest Article
Inspiration
Etcetera


Top Sponsor


Folks, I'm onto a winner this time.
I put $100 into this in the middle
of last January, and today it's bringing
me $189.41 per day. Shoot me
an email if you'd like to know more.
elfbutter@sbcglobal.net


Contest


Results of last issue's contest, when the question was — What is the smallest kite flown in the world? The answer — A kite built by Nobuhiko Yoshizuni of Kyoto, Japan, measured 10 x 8 mm (.04 x .03 inches), and was flown at the Seattle Cherry Blossom and Japanese Cultural Festival, in Washington, USA, on April 18, 1998. Nobuhiko Yoshizuni has been building and designing kites throughout his life and is world-renowned master kite maker. He is a member of the Kyoto Kite Association and of the International Friends of Small Kites organization. But once again, no one entered, so no one won!

For our subscribers only: Be first to submit the correct answer to the following question and receive the next available top sponsor slot gratis. So answer this:

What is the largest popcorn sculpture in the world?

Send to contest@elfexpressionsezine.com and be sure to include your promo copy with your entry, so that I do not have to contact you separately to get it. Several people have missed out having their copy published, because they did not respond before my deadline.





Associate yourself with men of good quality
if you esteem your own reputation; for 'tis
better to be alone than in bad company.

—George Washington



A Healthier You


This feature will return next issue.





There is only one quality worse than hardness
of heart and that is softness of head.

—Theodore Roosevelt



Classifieds


Blowout Clearance Sale on Name-brand Kidswear.
Shop early for Christmas.
Save 50-70% OFF retail.
Exclusive Time Limited offer.
Log on http://tinyurl.com/7dpwb.
Mention discount code MK67587 for Huge savings.



How to create more income streams. An affil.iate program with more than one way to make you moolah. CBmall has 15 different ways to make moolah. The best part is CBmall is automated and you don't need a website. You just drive traffic. Everything you need: Support — Payment processing — Marketing Ideas. 15 Powerful Ways CBmall Makes You Moolah: http://tinyurl.com/6om6zv


Feature Article


Catch a Clue from Carnegie

Dale Carnegie, that is . . .

He was a very wise man, and one of the things he recommended doing for those who feel sorry for themselves and have trouble conjuring up feelings of gratitude is to do this:

1 — Write down each and every blessing you can think of, from the fact that you live in a free (for now, at least) country to the fact that you have your eyesight (or you wouldn't be reading this right now).

2 — When you get to the end of your list (if you can!), sit down with your list in front of you and imagine your life without each one of your blessings.

3 — When you are sufficiently depressed, add each one back in gradually, one by one, and gain a new appreciation for how much better you will feel.

You do not have to look very far to find some reason, either in the present or in your past to find a myriad of blessings.

Read the Psalms and note the many passages of gratitude. Start in Psalms 30:12, 69:30, 75:1, 92:1-2, 105:1, 107:8, then Thessalonians 5:18, and my personal favorite, at Hebrews 13:15.

It is impossible to be grateful and melancholy at the same time. Nor can you stay angry, sad, or depressed when you think about your blessings.

If you have a Bible, thank God, for one third of the world does not have access to even one.

If you woke up this morning with more health than not, you are more blessed than the million who did not even wake up today.

If you've never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation, you are ahead of more than 500 million people around the world.

If you have food in your refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof over your head, and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of the world.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, or spare change in a dish someplace, you are among the top eight percent of the world's wealthy!

If you can hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful, you are truly blessed, because the majority can, but most do not.

If you prayed yesterday and today, you are in the minority, because you believe in God's willingness to answer prayer.

And if you believe in Jesus Christ, you are part of a very small minority in the world.

How truly blessed you are!

=========================================================

You may reprint the above article with this info intact:
Article penned by Mary Wilkey, publisher of 'elf Expressions Ezine:
http://elfexpressionsezine.com
To subscribe, email sub@elfexpressionsezine.com?subject=subscribe



 

Test Your Bible Knowledge

Fill in the blank: "Even a ____ is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right."

1 — dog
2 — child
3 — master
4 — teacher

Scroll down for the answer.





The quality, not the longevity,
of one's life is what is important.

—Dr. Martin Luther King Jr



Classifieds


Learn How to Profit from the Stock Market Now!
So Easy a 4th Grader can do it!
Learn The Secrets that Wall Street
Insiders Do Not Want You To Know!
http://tinyurl.com/6o9a8z



Opportunity Knocks — Internet based business
Part-time supplemental/Full-time potential.
Personalized training with your own Coach.
Duplication made simple with proven systems.
Listen to free and informative presentation.
Contact me. 888-513-4008
http://tinyurl.com/5f34fd




"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed."

—Albert Einstein



Today's Chuckle


High School Reunion

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" says my wife, "who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started . . .





The quality of love and the duration of a relationship are in direct proportion to the depth of the commitment by both people to making the relationship successful. Commit yourself wholeheartedly and unconditionally to the most important people in your life.

—Brian Tracy



Today's English Lesson


Seeing the same elementary mistakes over and over again has prompted this publisher to write an English lesson each issue. Look for some of these lessons to be repeated, because the mistakes are!

"Prostate" or "prostrate"?

This is such a common mistake, you would think that by now, with all the seeming epidemic of prostate problems, everyone would know the difference between these two.

After racking my brain to come up with a simple method to remember the difference, I came up with this rather inane suggestion: The prostate has had the "R" removed from it (as in surgery). Anyone have a better mnemonic device?

=========================================================

Reminder: We have a reasonably priced editing/proofreading service for articles or even entire ezines. Just email: service@elfexpressionsezine.com





Every time a resolve or fine glow of feeling
evaporates without bearing fruit, it is worse
than a chance lost; it works to hinder future
emotions from taking the normal path of discharge.

—William James



Classifieds


Learn how to profit from the stock market NOW!
So easy a 4th grader can do it!
Learn the secrets that Wall Street
insiders do not want you to know!
http://tinyurl.com/6o9a8z



ClickBank Truths are finally told!
"Former Army Combat Soldier Turns ClickBank
Commando and Topples the Internet Marketing
Regime With His $541,839 Affil.iate Mega-Bomb..."
This guy has ALL the so called Gurus P.O.'d.
Find out why! http://tinyurl.com/6xrnxz


Internet Hints & Tips


All About Off Page SEO
by Mark Flavin

Search Engine Optimization, or SEO, is a science of sorts that would enable you to ensure a favorably prominent position for your website in search engine results pages (SERPs). And since 80% of your traffic would come from the search engines, SEO methods take on a critical importance in the success of your online endeavor.

There are two kinds of SEO, on page and off page. This article will tackle the latter.

Off page SEO is all about the things you could to get a high page rank (PR) for your website after it has already gone live. These are the things which you actually execute outside the pages of your website, hence the name of this type of SEO.

What are these steps? Find out when you read the rest of Mark's article at http://tinyurl.com/5mr75l





How Big is Wal-Mart?

[Read all the way through—the last line is the most correct of all.]

1 — At Wal-Mart, Americans spend $36mil. every hour of every day.

2 — This works out to $20,928 profit every minute!

3 — Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St. Patrick's Day (March 17th) than Target sells all year.

4 — Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target + Sears + Costco + K-Mart combined.

5 — Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people, is the largest private employer, AND most of them can't speak English!

6 — Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the world.

7 — Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger & Safeway combined, and keep in mind they did this in only fifteen years.

8 — During this same period, 31 Supermarket chains sought bankruptcy (including Winn-Dixie).

9 — Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world.

10 — Wal-Mart has approx 3,900 stores tn the USA, of which 1,906 are SuperCenters; This is 1,000 more than it had five years ago.

11 — This year, 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences will occur at a Wal-Mart store. (Earth's population is approximately 6.5 billion.)

12 — 90% of all Americans live tithin fifteen miles of a Wal-Mart

13 — Let Wal-Mart bail out Wall Street!



Classifieds


http://tinyurl.com/5vd96n Offers Products, Services & Business Opportunities at reasonable prices. We have all of the Playstation, Ninetendo Wii, and Xbox game systems and accessories. We also have Laptop Computers like Apple Acer, HP, Sony Vaio and Asus, and General Merch Products. We even Have 4-star satellite tv for your pc!



How to Get Better Gas Mileage.
Here is a book that has some good information
and tips on improving your gas mileage.
http://tinyurl.com/6lf4ve


Guest Article



Why?
by Chris Brady

Why is it that when we are little children everybody tells us to dream big dreams and realize that "we can be anything we want to be," but when we grow up they tell us to "be realistic?"

Why is it that when I spent tens of thousands of dollars on a formal education everybody said, "good job, you're doing so well," but when I spend just $5 on an educational CD they tell me I'm getting ripped off?

Why is it that our country has been known as "the Land of Opportunity" but more and more of its citizens want it to be a "Land of Equalized Results?"

Why does someone running for higher office talk about how wrong it is to make large amounts of money when his jet plane and security force are paid for by taxes collected from those who made the money in the first place?

Why is it that someone who succeeds at something is suddenly called an exploiter of those who freely chose to pay for his services to them?

Why is it that mediocrity is heralded while excellence is painted as greed or arrogance?

Why do "intellectuals" cling to the concepts of communism when hundreds of thousands of deaths were required to try to convince the world that it worked?

Why is doubt a mark of intelligence and hard work a sign of ignorance? (In the new vernacular of intellectuals: "I doubt, therefore I'm smart.")

Why is mankind doomed to repeat its same mistakes over and over again?

===========================================================





Joy's recollection is no longer joy,
while sorrow's memory is sorrow still.

—Byron



Classifieds


Get the card that saves AND makes people $1000s!
Save at over 175,000 stores worldwide!
Earn cash back at over 600 online stores!
Powerful business opportunity and compensation plan!
Automated system that does all but 1% of the work for you! http://tinyurl.com/54wfob



Former factory worker turned underground Internet millionaire. In his report he shares the real secret to success online. An easy to follow income plan that works for everyone, anytime and anywhere.
Don't miss this!
http://tinyurl.com/6z7ynw




Answer to Bible trivia:

2 — child is correct.
See Proverbs 20:11



Inspiration


~ A Baby's Hug ~
Author Unknown

We were the only family with children in the restaurant. I sat Erik in a high chair and noticed everyone was quietly sitting and talking. Suddenly, Erik squealed with glee and said, "Hi." He pounded his fat baby hands on the highchair tray. His eyes were crinkled in laughter, and his mouth was bared in a toothless grin, as he wriggled and giggled with merriment.

I looked around and saw the source of his merriment. It was a man whose pants were baggy with a zipper at half-mast, and his toes poked out of would-be shoes. His shirt was dirty, and his hair was uncombed and unwashed. His whiskers were too short to be called a beard, and his nose was so varicose it looked like a road map.

We were too far from him to smell, but I was sure he smelled. His hands waved and flapped on loose wrists. "Hi there, baby; hi there, big boy. I see ya, buster," the man said to Erik.

My husband and I exchanged looks, "What do we do?"

Erik continued to laugh and answer, "Hi."

Everyone in the restaurant noticed and looked at us and then at the man. The old geezer was creating a nuisance with my beautiful baby. Our meal came, and the man began shouting from across the room, "Do ya patty cake? Do you know peek-a-boo? Hey, look, he knows peek-a-boo."

Nobody thought the old man was cute. He was obviously drunk.

My husband and I were embarrassed. We ate in silence—all except for Erik, who was running through his repertoire for the admiring skid-row bum, who in turn, reciprocated with his cute comments.

We finally got through the meal and headed for the door. My husband went to pay the check and told me to meet him in the parking lot. The old man sat poised between me and the door.

"Lord, just let me out of here before he speaks to me or Erik," I prayed. As I drew closer to the man, I turned my back trying to sidestep him and avoid any air he might be breathing. As I did, Erik leaned over my arm, reaching with both arms in a baby's "pick-me-up" position. Before I could stop him, Erik had propelled himself from my arms to the man.

Suddenly, a very old smelly man and a very young baby consummated their love and kinship. Erik, in an act of total trust, love, and submission laid his tiny head upon the man's ragged shoulder. The man's eyes closed, and I saw tears hover beneath his lashes. His aged hands full of grime, pain, and hard labor, cradled my baby's bottom and stroked his back. No two beings have ever loved so deeply for so short a time.

I stood awestruck. The old man rocked and cradled Erik in his arms, and his eyes opened and set squarely on mine. He said in a firm commanding voice, "You take care of this baby."

Somehow I managed, "I will" from a throat that contained a stone.

He pried Erik from his chest, lovingly and longingly, as though he were in pain. I received my baby, and the man said, "God bless you, ma'am; you've given me my Christmas gift."

I said nothing more than a muttered thanks. With Erik in my arms, I ran for the car. My husband was wondering why I was crying and holding Erik so tightly, and why I was saying, "My God, my God, forgive me."

I had just witnessed Christ's love shown through the innocence of a tiny child who saw no sin, who made no judgment—a child who saw a soul, and a mother who saw a suit of clothes. I was a Christian who was blind, holding a child who was not. I felt it was God asking, "Are you willing to share your son for a moment?" when He shared His for all eternity. How did God feel when he put his baby in our arms 2000 years ago.

The ragged old man, unwittingly, had reminded me, "To enter the Kingdom of God, we must become as little children."

Sometimes it takes a child to remind us of what is really important. We must always remember who we are, where we came from, and, most importantly, how we feel about others. The clothes on your back or the car that you drive or the house that you live in does not define you at all; it is how you treat your fellow man that identifies who you are.

"It is better to be liked for the true you, than to be loved for who people think you are."




Etcetera

Contact publisher at:
elfbutter@cervo.net

To advertise, email copy to: ads@elfexpressionsezine.com

Regular and Highlighted Classifieds:
7-lines, 65-characters per line
(including web or email address)
Top Sponsor slots: 20 lines
Solos: 50 lines.

To pay, use one of the buttons below:

**********************************************************

The 2-solo pack is $40.00.

Quantity
     

**********************************************************

Solos are $25.00 each.

Quantity
     

**********************************************************

Top Sponsor slots are $10.00 per issue.

Quantity
     

**********************************************************

Highlighted Classifieds are $4.00 per issue.

Quantity
     

**********************************************************

Regular Classifieds are $3.00 per issue.

Quantity
     

**********************************************************

To submit an article or to make suggestions or comments:
notestopub@elfexpressionsezine.com

To use our editing/proofreading service, email
service@elfexpressionsezine.com

To subscribe:

Get Hold of Your Elf! Your Name:
Your E-Mail:

To unsubscribe, send email to: unsub@elfexpressionsezine.com,
or see the site at http://elfexpressionsezine.com and scroll down.

"Note: We are not liable for the use of any contributed information contained herein. We also claim no responsibility for the legality or accuracy of advertisements or articles submitted and reprinted by permission. It is the contributor's and/or advertiser's responsibility to abide by all pertinent jurisdictional laws and regulations pertaining to that person's business."

Sent with add2it list management software mailer program.
Get yours today!
Manage unlimited lists plus send all-in-one handy software
product for only $69.95 with lifetime upgrades!
http://tinyurl.com/2rwse8



AdsHome—an ideal place for advertisers that you really cannot afford to miss!
http://tinyurl.com/2s6xhq


Your one stop Affordable Ezine Advertising Solution in Multiple Ezines!


Don't Sell Your Advertising Short!
My Wizard — 170+ Publications — 1.1+ Mil. *pt-In Subscribers
Starting as low as 200,000+ ezine spots for only $7.95—a true bargain!
http://tinyurl.com/3iu8
http://tinyurl.com/3iu9



Reach 100,000 Subscribers the easy way!
Just $15.00 for a limited time at Ezines-R-Us
http://tinyurl.com/3iu5

Rate 'elf Expressions Ezine once a day!
Rating:
10 is the best.


See

http://tinyurl.com/3dtt8t

Special Bargain Ezine Rates—more exposure for less.
Your promo copy will be seen over 742,898 *pt-in subscribers in 116 Ezines.
Packages starts from only $10.
Use this link — http://tinyurl.com/34pl9h

Got an Ezine? Newsletter? Discussion List?
Costs nothing to add it to the EzineLinks Searchable Database!
http://EzineLinks.com

The eZineSearch® Directory/List  contains over 5,000 periodically published electronic magazines.

Rate This Ezine

The Ezine Directory

Please rate the link 'elf Expressions Ezine
between one and ten, with ten being tops.

"
 Home | Latest Issue | Archives | Email |